The Cheese Underground

[ghini]

I need to move to San Fran because they have the secret cheese underground

Those with the right connections get invited to illegal-cheese parties, like one recently thrown by a San Francisco lawyer who agreed to speak on the condition of anonymity. He tells me he smuggled a wheel of époisses on his way back from vacationing in Vienna. He wrapped the cheese tightly in plastic, buried it in his checked luggage, and invited his 20 most important friends over for an illicit-cheese party. “People looked at me a little differently after that,” he says. “There was more respect—a little bit of a ‘He’s not just a lawyer, he’s a wild cheese smuggler’ type of thing.”

Comments

[notgruntled.livejournal.com]

Wow. Used to be, downtrodden folks formed underground movements to share subversive poetry, militant politics, incomprehensible jazz, powerful drugs or deviant sex. Now there's a whole black market for yuppies to mill around in basements and share cheese that smells like feet.

I mean, if there's going to be dairy smuggling, it ought to at least something really freaky like giraffe or capybara cheese. No, I don't know how one would milk a giraffe or a capybara, but I'm sure someone knows.

This is the 21st-century protest movement: "Hey! Hey! Ho! Ho! We want époisses and Frappuchino!"

"What do we want? GOAT CHEESE! When do we want it? ANY TIME AFTER BETWEEN 7 AND BEFORE 9, BECAUSE WE CAN'T GET OUT OF THE OFFICE EARLY AND THE BABYSITTER CAN'T STALY LATE!"

[caligineux.livejournal.com]

I fell out of my chair laughing at the protest chants. Thanks!