Jackass: the Atlantra edition
Jun. 29th, 2004 01:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ghiniSo a few days ago my friend Cody calls me up.
"Come over! We're about to set Rod on fire!"
Upon arrival I learn Rod is making an audition video for Survivor. He has a grand plan involving witty banter, pity on him and setting his hand on fire to demonstrate... I dunno. That's he's brave or crazy or flammable or something.
Each of us has a set role:
Rod is the star and writer.
Cody is the director, cameraman and editor.
I shoot Rod with the hose.
Rod starts the video sitting on the couch, sipping wine, reading Shakespeare wearing my glasses (to look more smarter). He explains he's a screwup, has no career, etc.
We wander around Cody's yard and street as Rod makes his case. He's the guy they want for Survivor. For the finale, he wants to say 'and if nothing else, i'm crazy enough to do this' and hold up his flaming hand. Then he will say 'did we get that?' and the camera nods, he says 'Good! This is getting hot! Put me out!'. Then I shoot him in the chest with the hose.
Rod claims he's done this before. He covers his hand with Cosmoline, a thick brown goo used to keep guns from rusting. This is supposed to protect his hand from the fire.
Now, the fuel. Rod has brought several things, hoping for the best flame: lamp oil, sterno, hand sanitizer (jellied alcohol) and straight rubbing alcohol. We grab a board from cody's back yard and give each an audition. We only set the ground on fire once or twice. I aquit myself as hose-guy well, putting out the fires. Lamp oil burns with a nice yellow flame. Sterno is bright fuscha and burns almost clear. Hand sanitizer burns almost clear blue, as does alcohol. Rod decides on lamp oil. It's about 4pm, so the sun is still up and it's bright out. Flames don't show up that well and lamp oil burns the brightest.
We retreat to the back of Cody's yard where there is less grass and leaves to catch on fire. Rod smears more Cosmoline and readies the lamp oil to pour on his hand. There's just one problem: Rod can't set his hand on fire.
First off, the lamp oil has a very high ignition point. By the time it's hot enough to burn, the heat has worked it's way through to Rod's hand. Also, since Rod has a hand, not a wick, the lamp oil mostly runs off.
Many ideas are tried. He can soak his hand in a bowl of oil off-camera while giving his speech. He has broken his ligher, so a candle is set up as a source of fire.
Since his hand won't soak up oil, he tries soaking a rag, winding it around his fingers and lighting that. Nope. Rod's hand stubbornly refuses to burn.
Next we try alcohol. It ignites easily, but won't stay on the hand. After half an hour of various failed attempts at pyromania, Rod decides to end his Survivor application video by explaining how cool it would have been if he had set his hand on fire. Then I shoot him in the chest with the hose.
That's Rod, failing to ignite.
It should be noted that Cody was perfectly willing to set a live human being on fire in his backyard, but has forbidden fireworks from his 4th of July party.
"Come over! We're about to set Rod on fire!"
Upon arrival I learn Rod is making an audition video for Survivor. He has a grand plan involving witty banter, pity on him and setting his hand on fire to demonstrate... I dunno. That's he's brave or crazy or flammable or something.
Each of us has a set role:
Rod is the star and writer.
Cody is the director, cameraman and editor.
I shoot Rod with the hose.
Rod starts the video sitting on the couch, sipping wine, reading Shakespeare wearing my glasses (to look more smarter). He explains he's a screwup, has no career, etc.
We wander around Cody's yard and street as Rod makes his case. He's the guy they want for Survivor. For the finale, he wants to say 'and if nothing else, i'm crazy enough to do this' and hold up his flaming hand. Then he will say 'did we get that?' and the camera nods, he says 'Good! This is getting hot! Put me out!'. Then I shoot him in the chest with the hose.
Rod claims he's done this before. He covers his hand with Cosmoline, a thick brown goo used to keep guns from rusting. This is supposed to protect his hand from the fire.
Now, the fuel. Rod has brought several things, hoping for the best flame: lamp oil, sterno, hand sanitizer (jellied alcohol) and straight rubbing alcohol. We grab a board from cody's back yard and give each an audition. We only set the ground on fire once or twice. I aquit myself as hose-guy well, putting out the fires. Lamp oil burns with a nice yellow flame. Sterno is bright fuscha and burns almost clear. Hand sanitizer burns almost clear blue, as does alcohol. Rod decides on lamp oil. It's about 4pm, so the sun is still up and it's bright out. Flames don't show up that well and lamp oil burns the brightest.
We retreat to the back of Cody's yard where there is less grass and leaves to catch on fire. Rod smears more Cosmoline and readies the lamp oil to pour on his hand. There's just one problem: Rod can't set his hand on fire.
First off, the lamp oil has a very high ignition point. By the time it's hot enough to burn, the heat has worked it's way through to Rod's hand. Also, since Rod has a hand, not a wick, the lamp oil mostly runs off.
Many ideas are tried. He can soak his hand in a bowl of oil off-camera while giving his speech. He has broken his ligher, so a candle is set up as a source of fire.
Since his hand won't soak up oil, he tries soaking a rag, winding it around his fingers and lighting that. Nope. Rod's hand stubbornly refuses to burn.
Next we try alcohol. It ignites easily, but won't stay on the hand. After half an hour of various failed attempts at pyromania, Rod decides to end his Survivor application video by explaining how cool it would have been if he had set his hand on fire. Then I shoot him in the chest with the hose.
That's Rod, failing to ignite.
It should be noted that Cody was perfectly willing to set a live human being on fire in his backyard, but has forbidden fireworks from his 4th of July party.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-06-29 11:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-29 11:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-29 12:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-29 12:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-29 12:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-29 12:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-29 12:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-29 01:36 pm (UTC)try this (if there is a next time)
Date: 2004-06-29 02:01 pm (UTC)soak hand in water
pour coleman (camping) fuel over hand
light
enjoy
it should use the fuel before it starts to burn the experimenter
(do you guys get coleman fuel ?)
no subject
Date: 2004-06-30 12:31 am (UTC)i should post a qt of the end with the fire -- it was funny