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Lasik
Here's exactly what happened at lasik yesterday. I've put it behind a cut for people who are easily grossed out.
I went in two weeks ago for the initial exam. Not bad. It was a lot like the eye doctor. I realized I wasn't too scared after the corneal pressure and thickness test. They put some numbing drops in my eyes, then poked my eyeball with a little electrode that went BEEP!
poke. Beep! poke. Beep! poke. Beep! poke. Beep! poke. Beep!
Instead of freaking out because I had someone poking my eye, I just sat there and thought how wierd this seemed.
I made the appointment for Thursday, 11:15am. They said I should show up at 11:15am. Since you can't drive after, I asked my aunt to drive me. It's about 20 minutes from my house to the doctors, so I told her to show up at 10:45am. When does she show up? 9:15am. I demanded we go to breakfast. I finally got to the doctor only half an hour early.
Here's how I know that I went to the right place. Before the surgery, I had a quick checkup to make sure the perscription thery got last week was the right one. They check my eyes. One is blurry as hell at the setting they have. The tech checks it again, and gets a different number than they got last week. So, to make sure, he checks it again, then has someone else check it, then has a big machine check it, then has the surgeon check it. When all five of these match up, he decides it's ok.
Off I go to the operating room. I lie down on a reasonably uncomfortable table, and get positioned. They put four kinds of drops in my eyes, each colder than the last. They push me under the laser machine. Now comes the fun part...
First, they attach clips to my eyelids to keep them open, like in A Clockwork Orange. Next, they tapped it with a little thingy that as far as I can tell, was putting a bullseye on my eyeball.
Now the wierd thing. They put this thingy over my entire eyeball. As far as I can tell, it was a doughnut shaped suction cup. It sucked my entire eyeball down tight. This was the closest to painful I got. This thing was pushing up against the eye socket part of the skull. Not agonizing, but uncomfortable as hell.
Now the doctor comes in with a blurry thing and slices my cornea up. No pain. Next he pulls this flap to the side and everything goes blurry.
Now I get to stare at the blinking yellow dot while the laser tracks in on my eye and zaps me.
SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP
Each snap is a blast of laser light, and my nose fills with the smell of burning eyemeats.
Once it's over, he pushes the flap back over my eyeball and starts over on the other one.
Once both are done, he unleashes my eyeballs from their prison and I get to leave.
The grand total time spent in the operating room was about 15 minutes.
Everything was blurry when I left. On the ride home my eyes started to sting, and becme more sensitive to light. I took a demerol and a nap, and woke up much better.
I went in two weeks ago for the initial exam. Not bad. It was a lot like the eye doctor. I realized I wasn't too scared after the corneal pressure and thickness test. They put some numbing drops in my eyes, then poked my eyeball with a little electrode that went BEEP!
poke. Beep! poke. Beep! poke. Beep! poke. Beep! poke. Beep!
Instead of freaking out because I had someone poking my eye, I just sat there and thought how wierd this seemed.
I made the appointment for Thursday, 11:15am. They said I should show up at 11:15am. Since you can't drive after, I asked my aunt to drive me. It's about 20 minutes from my house to the doctors, so I told her to show up at 10:45am. When does she show up? 9:15am. I demanded we go to breakfast. I finally got to the doctor only half an hour early.
Here's how I know that I went to the right place. Before the surgery, I had a quick checkup to make sure the perscription thery got last week was the right one. They check my eyes. One is blurry as hell at the setting they have. The tech checks it again, and gets a different number than they got last week. So, to make sure, he checks it again, then has someone else check it, then has a big machine check it, then has the surgeon check it. When all five of these match up, he decides it's ok.
Off I go to the operating room. I lie down on a reasonably uncomfortable table, and get positioned. They put four kinds of drops in my eyes, each colder than the last. They push me under the laser machine. Now comes the fun part...
First, they attach clips to my eyelids to keep them open, like in A Clockwork Orange. Next, they tapped it with a little thingy that as far as I can tell, was putting a bullseye on my eyeball.
Now the wierd thing. They put this thingy over my entire eyeball. As far as I can tell, it was a doughnut shaped suction cup. It sucked my entire eyeball down tight. This was the closest to painful I got. This thing was pushing up against the eye socket part of the skull. Not agonizing, but uncomfortable as hell.
Now the doctor comes in with a blurry thing and slices my cornea up. No pain. Next he pulls this flap to the side and everything goes blurry.
Now I get to stare at the blinking yellow dot while the laser tracks in on my eye and zaps me.
SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP
Each snap is a blast of laser light, and my nose fills with the smell of burning eyemeats.
Once it's over, he pushes the flap back over my eyeball and starts over on the other one.
Once both are done, he unleashes my eyeballs from their prison and I get to leave.
The grand total time spent in the operating room was about 15 minutes.
Everything was blurry when I left. On the ride home my eyes started to sting, and becme more sensitive to light. I took a demerol and a nap, and woke up much better.
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