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Adventures of a homeowner: Episode 3
Jul. 27th, 2009 02:30 amThings you didn't know existed until you had to buy them:
Bathtub Paint
Bathtub Paint
Jul. 27th, 2009
The problem with lesbians
Jul. 27th, 2009 03:26 pmToday at Ikea I figured out the problem with lesbians.
The average straight males sexual evolution goes something like this:
Stage 1: Childhood: girls are gross
Stage 2: Early puberty: girls are strange
Stage 3: Late puberty: we want girls
Somewhere between stage 2 and stage 3, a switch flips and boys go from "I don't know what to do with girls" to "I want to do things TO girls". Usually in there is the first time guys see porn. Porn teaches us about sex with girls. Not what we need to know (how to get them to have sex with us) but what we need to see (what the bits look like and how they fit together in interesting ways).
One of the things porn lets us see is that lesbians are awesome. We are boys. We want girls. Suddenly, girls want girls too! Watching girls do things to girls is awesome.
Now imagine you are the kid I saw at Ikea today. He's around 10 or 11. He has a lesbian couple as parents. One is mid 40's and pretty gender neutral. The other is late 30s and definitely in MILF territory. The kid looks happy, healthy well adjusted and like every other 10 year old dragged to Ikea by their parents, bored to tears.
Suddenly I realize: this kid is about to hit puberty. Then comes the discovery of girls. However, when he makes it to the bonus round of discovering lesbianism, it's not going to be awesome. It's going to be his parents. Girl on girl action won't thrill him. It will remind him of his parents having sex.
And that, my friends, is the problem with lesbian parents!
The average straight males sexual evolution goes something like this:
Stage 1: Childhood: girls are gross
Stage 2: Early puberty: girls are strange
Stage 3: Late puberty: we want girls
Somewhere between stage 2 and stage 3, a switch flips and boys go from "I don't know what to do with girls" to "I want to do things TO girls". Usually in there is the first time guys see porn. Porn teaches us about sex with girls. Not what we need to know (how to get them to have sex with us) but what we need to see (what the bits look like and how they fit together in interesting ways).
One of the things porn lets us see is that lesbians are awesome. We are boys. We want girls. Suddenly, girls want girls too! Watching girls do things to girls is awesome.
Now imagine you are the kid I saw at Ikea today. He's around 10 or 11. He has a lesbian couple as parents. One is mid 40's and pretty gender neutral. The other is late 30s and definitely in MILF territory. The kid looks happy, healthy well adjusted and like every other 10 year old dragged to Ikea by their parents, bored to tears.
Suddenly I realize: this kid is about to hit puberty. Then comes the discovery of girls. However, when he makes it to the bonus round of discovering lesbianism, it's not going to be awesome. It's going to be his parents. Girl on girl action won't thrill him. It will remind him of his parents having sex.
And that, my friends, is the problem with lesbian parents!