Trader Joes

So I made it to Trader Joes today. They have a huge end-of-aisle display of Three Buck Chuck wine. I'm standing there, and there is one little old lady and her husband on the left, grabbing some wine. They're old, so they're slow, but that's ok. Blocking the entire front and right side, is a soccer-mom type. She's managed to position her body and cart to block maximum access to my cheap wine goodness. Despite repeated attempts, I can't get past her without knocking over several hundred bottles of wine, or a pair of harmless old people.

She's on the phone, and the conversation goes something like this: "I got two bottles of Merlot and two bottles of Chardonnay. Is that ok? Do you want three bottles of the Merlot? I can get three bottles of the Merlot. Do you want three bottles of the Merlot?"

Somehow, this conversation seems to take a looooong time. I was ready to open my wallet, pull out three bucks and throw it at her while screaming "BUY THE FUCKING MERLOT! IT'S THREE DOLLARS! THREE FUCKING DOLLARS! I'LL PAY FOR IT! JUST GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY!"

Perhaps a nicotine-free me doesn't need to be allowed out in public.