Fear and Loathing in Woot.com

If you have never heard of Woot.com, it's a daily closeout website. Each day they have some thingie on sale, and sell it until it is gone. Next day, new thing. I got a blender/food processor combo and a wireless mouse from them in the past year. However, the main reason I go to the site is for the item descriptions. Whoever is writing this stuff is probably an advertising copywriter who had a nervous breakdown, or some cynical English major who wants to be the Hunter S Thompson of ecommerce. Here's some examples:

A photo printer:

What's not to like about the HP 7350 Photo Printer? It’s as versatile as a Mandrell sister, quieter than Dubya in the Double Jeopardy round - and it serves up photos at up to 4,800 × 1,200 optimized color dpi on premium photo papers. Why, your snapshots will nearly be nice enough to hang in the foyer, save only for the tragically low photogenicity of your friends and family.

( a few more )

Liz the latecomer!

Liz is late to Little Szechuan, again! Thanks to my spiffy new blackberry I can publically mock her for this before she even arrives.

Mock mock mock!