Reasons I miss smoking...

Back in my smoking days, I used to carry a pack of Camel Lights and my cellphone in my left pocket. There they sat, upright, leaning on each other for support.

Now my Camels are gone and my cellphone has no friend to keep it company. So, sick with dispair, it falls over on its' side. This causes it to form an odd, horizontal bulge in my pants that is both uncomfortable and unsightly. I have dubbed it the "Nokia boner".