Dec. 11th, 2002

ghini: (poison)
Was cooking tonight. Recipe required sweetened condensed milk. I dropped the can taking it off the shelf. Put a big dent in it. Stupid sleep deprived me does not realize that this means the contents are now pressurized. I take the triangular can-opener thingy and open it.

BLOOOP!

A geyser of thick white goo erupts out of the can! It lands on the stove, the pans, the counter and me. Standing there feeling silly I realize that my kitchen now looks like a porn movie was shot in it.

Recipe also called for crushed Oreos. All they had were "Holiday" Oreos with red filling. By the time I had crushed 5 dozen, the bag looked like it had contained body parts from a particularly grisly murder.

[livejournal.com profile] weaklikekitten and I decided that sex and death make any kitchen more entertaining. We will create a new show on Food Network: Jamie Oliver will perpare a delicious dish while his attractive friends have sex. Then they eat dinner and kill Emeril. Perfect!

July 2017

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